Why did Ninja Theory have to make Dante such a detestable individual? Arrogant, foul-mouthed and unconvincingly “edgy”, Dante has as much charisma as the swarms of idiots on Vine and Facebook who film themselves acting like twats in public because they think it’s funny.
Age takes its toll on us all. As the years go by, those grey hairs, wrinkles and peg-legs become more and more pronounced. It’s not clear when it happens. For some it’s around middle age, where the realisation that time doth not stand still inspires them to dye their hair fluorescent pink or drive around in a Honda Midlifecrisis.
Remasters are a funny thing. They rely on nostalgia for the original game, feeding off that sense of wonder we felt when experiencing it the first time around. Some manage this successfully, upgrading everything that made the original great and ironing out any lingering flaws, while others attempt a half-arsed rehash that at best looks only nominally better and at worst comes out more broken than its predecessor.
Is Ace Attorney as timeless a brand as Capcom and its fans would have you believe? Well, on the one hand, I would say yes. These murder mystery courtroom dramas with an abundance of Japanese cultural influence provide incredibly well crafted stories that can be enjoyed by anyone who’s ever picked up a book.
Twin-stick shooters have been enjoying a renaissance period as of late. The cubic destruction that featured heavily in the fabulous PlayStation 4 exclusive Resogun kicked off the next-generation with all the spectacle and pizazz that we’ve come to expect from a triple-A title.
Don’t make a promise you can’t keep – especially in the video games industry. It’s the equivalent of lip-syncing during a televised concert, dousing yourself in gasoline and handing a pyromaniac a flamethrower: you’re going to get found out and inevitably burnt alive.
If you only take one thing from this review let it be this – the Alien is a bastard.
You’ll shout, you’ll cry, you’ll invent all-new profanities just to belt at the screen as the scaly-skinned nightmare drops from a ceiling vent and chews your face off just as you get near a save point.
Gaming doesn’t have the best reputation when it comes to representing cultures or their beliefs. Stereotypes and wild inaccuracies are all too frequent – Resident Evil 5’s African village level is a particularly controversial example – which just leads to more problems than it’s worth.
Sunset Overdrive is the kick in the balls and childish titty twister this industry needs, and I really hope it’s given a lot of people sore nipples and aching plums.
There’s no filmic, melodramatic nonsense here. No subtext or cryptic logic to understand.
Right, allow me to just get one thing out of the way. It’s going to be very hard for me to review Akiba’s Trip. Why? Well, because I’m basically about to admit that I love a game where your primary objective is getting into fights with Japanese teenagers and relieving them of their clothes.
The Xbox One may be bombing in Japan, but Microsoft has one of the region’s best games in D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die.
Never heard of it? Well, that’s hardly surprising. D4 has received no promotion whatsoever since its release, slipping onto the Xbox store with as much gusto as a field mouse passing wind on a blustery day.